NYC Quick Tips

• Only women and tourists wear shorts. It's unfortunate, because I love shorts and will wear them anytime it's 65 degrees or warmer. Jorts you ask? What is this, Nascar?
• Don't wear t-shirts with any sort of Spanish writing on it or a shirt that says you were or are a member of a Spanish club. Next thing you know, Mexican/Spanish speaking tourists will start donde esta-ing your ear off.
• Eat food from a street vendor, but steer clear of the white sauce.
• Don't look at the people trying to sign you up for this petition or get you to become a member of that club. You'll get trapped into a four hour long conversation which inevitably always ends with, "and that's why Africa needs our help" or "we don't need much, but $20 would be great." In fact, don't look or stare at anybody for that matter.
  
• Inform your credit card provider you'll be traveling because if you're like me and don't know your social security card number, they'll cancel your card.
• Don't ride a motorcycle anywhere in SoHo. The roads are comprised of uneven and cracked cobblestones, though pretty, unless you have metal teeth or wear a mouth guard, you're in for a costly dentist visit. I personally would prefer the the Plaxico Burress variety of mouth guards.
• For goodness sake, get a smartphone or a phone with a damn good map because unless you are Lewis and Clark and have a native guide like Sacagawea, it's way too easy to walk three miles in the wrong direction and get lost in a maze of refrigerator and office furniture stores.
• Wear the most obscure and mismatched types of clothing together in one outfit. Throw in a Plaxico Burress mouth guard if you're really looking to get noticed.
  
• Cross the road regardless of traffic and other road signs.
• I'll mention it again, steer clear of the white sauce unless you're getting legitimate tzatziki sauce from Tony the Dragon. Yes, it's ridiculous to trust a man who calls himself "Tony the Dragon" but for real, his tzatziki is delicious.
• Argue and yell when having a cell phone conversation while walking down a busy street. Maybe it's just me, but I always feel so B.A. when I have angry phone conversations.
• Don't listen to music when walking down the street. Listen to the city. Listen to the people you walk past and the music coming from inside stores. Listen to the sounds of beeping horns and screeching tires.
• This is more statement of fact than a tip, but most young native New Yorkers don't know how to drive. Not the "wow, he just cut that guy off" or "why is she going 55 MPH in the fast lane" but more literally. They don't know how to drive. No more than five people I worked with last summer even had their licenses. Craziness!
• Take time to look at the city. There is always something to see.